- Relying on winning for satisfaction often leaves a player void of happiness. When coaches pressure women or girls to win, they often take this and relay this pressure on themselves.
- Everyone seeks to be successful in one way or another. Success is based on the goals you set yourself and the time you give yourself to reach that. However, if these goals are not supported or acted on, negative feelings of defeat and guilt will sweep through.
- Women’s goals tend to be more personalized and specific to them than men. For example, women are likely to set more process driven goals such as getting fitter or improving on a skill, whereas men are more likely to set results driven goals such as beating a certain player.
- The benefit of setting smaller goals unique to you and your ability is that it requires a process. One that a coach can guide you through and set realistic milestones along the way.
- Encourage women and girls to focus more on the process than the goal itself! Make it a journey that you guide and support them through and be there for them when they feel defeated.
- Defeat and failure are always going to be a part of the process and are necessary aspects of long-term success. Coaches must remind their players that a defeat may feel like the worse thing to possibly happen, but that feeling is only temporary. The Learning and growth that comes from a defeat is what makes you a better athlete and teaches you how to overcome obstacles.
- A player’s first tournament is always a daunting experience. But for girls especially, the fear of what people think of them, if they are going to win or lose, and who might be watching can put them off entirely.
- Fear of competing is just one factor that holds women and girls back from competing. Opportunities and exposure are another battle we must deal with, in High Schools, there are 1.3 million fewer opportunities for girls to play sports than boys. This gender inequality is also present across colleges and sporting opportunities in clubs. Increased sports participation for adolescent girls is a necessary step towards achieving gender equity. Studies show that sports participation has a positive influence on young girls’ academic success, as well as their physical and psychological health. Because women and girls don’t get the same athletic opportunities, incentives, exposure, or mentorships as male player, this leads to girls to be twice as likely as boys to drop out of competition by age 14, letting go of the benefits that come with being a woman in sport!
HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR PLAYERS IN THEIR FIRST TOURNAMENT:
SIGNING UP: The first step is to make your players aware of the tournaments available and suitable for them. Sometimes all it takes is one friend to say yes and the rest will follow.
BENEFITS: Explain to them why playing in a tournament is so fun and worthwhile! Don’t mention the winning aspect, instead focus on the experience and learning opportunity and making new friends.
UNDERSTANDING HER WORRIES: Be empathetic with what she might have to say and reassure her when fears arise. Reinforce the positives and help to appease her concerns.
THE DAY OF COMPETITION: On the day of competition your player is likely to be extremely nervous. It is important to remind her to have fun and focus on the experience and opportunity.
TAKING A LOSS: Not every tournament is going to turn out the way we all hope, especially at the beginning. Be sure to tell your players how proud you are of them and how beneficial this will be in the future and the experience gained is invaluable.
THE LEAD UP: It is important to adapt your lessons with players who are in competitions but to still keep the lessons enjoyable and fun. Fun should always weave it’s way through all lessons even when a player is very competitive.
This page was written in courtesy of the Women’s Sport Foundations
Go Out and Play: Youth Sports in America. East Meadow, NY: Women’s Sports Foundation.
